BINGE!

Ugh. I fucked up, again.
Today was my friends birthday, and what did she bring to school? Pizza. Of course.
I used to LOVE pizza. I would eat it whenever I was sad, or really happy, or whenever something good was happening. I ate it when my parents got divorced to comfort myself...that's how I ended up so fat.
Anyways, so now whenever I see it I just have all of these good feelings of happiness and comfort. And I was really stressed out today because of my ex and his fat girl friend, who I probably look like right now because I'm SUCH A FAILURE.
I ate SIX PIECES OF PIZZA. SIX!!!
Shit, I may as well have just commited suicide, because that's whats gonna happen if I keep putting away food like this. I don't know what happened...every body else was eating pizza, and the smells and the warmth was getting to me and I was so cold, and the pizza was sooo warm. I felt empty, and I needed to fill that up. What I didn't realize is that once the pizza was gone, I was going to feel like total shit again, except even WORSE.
The first slice went down, and I was so happy I wanted to dance, and then the second dissapeared, and the third, and the fourth, and the fifth, and the sixth. By that time, I was sure everybody was staring at me, and I felt terrible. (Secretly, I was sort of smug because they don't know that I'm EDNOS, they just think I have a super fast metabolism. Theyre prob all jealous.)
Anyways, I'm going to go wallow in self pity. Maybs tomorrow will be better and I'll be able to make up for my horrible binge...I think I'll have to go to the gym to make up for this one....erch. Its what my fat-ass deserves, anyways.

Grits, Not Oatmeal.

My muscles are STILL so freaking sore from my work out yesterday. I went to the 24 hour fitness place down my street (loves that place!) and worked my ass off...I saw the manager person looking at me funny after awhile, so I had to leave. I'm sure I worked off that cupcake and potato salad, though. So yeah. Oh, and all day today, I didn't eat a thing but my 100 calories of grits this morning. I know, I told you oatmeal the other day, but it's not oatmeal! It's grits. It's this Quakers stuff, and 1 packet of instant grits is 100 calories. I'm too lazy to measure out exactly 100 cals of oatmeal, I'm sorry! It's easier to just make grits. Anyways, I always add a shit-load of cinnamon to it to make it taste good. Oh crap- does cinnamon have calories?